The feelings you have toward 'things' tell the kind of relationship you have with them (things). Feel-good emotions say “I enjoy this thing and I constantly invite this thing into my experience.” Not feel-good emotions say, “I choose to push this thing away.”
Doubts about 'things' as well as doubts about your ability to have things you say you desire, reveal your relationship with the things you say you desire. Doubts say to the things you desire, “I do not believe you should be part of my reality. I do not believe you should be included in my experience.” It pushes the thing I desire away.
Fears about 'things' you desire tell the thing, “I am afraid of you, so don’t come here!” Notice how this works.
In this post, I talk about my relationship with money - how it used to be and how it is now. My current relationship with money is relatively new - but it is NOW and it is growing stronger.
Let’s say I have debts and the amount of money I have is less that my debts. When this happens, I do not like it that I have debts. The don’t like energy is low energy. It is blocking energy and it defines my relationship with money.
When I have plenty of money to spend freely, I like it. This is higher energy. It is free-flowing energy. It defines my relationship with money.
Yet, if the amount of money I have is not enough, and I do not like it that it is not enough, the thought of not enough money is the same as don’t like energy. This too defines my relationship with money.
Let's say I have a debt situation and I need more money so I can pay my debts. If I have no idea where the amount I require will come from, a natural feeling is fear. I have two kinds of blocking energy that inhibit the flow of money to me. These two blocking energies define my relationship with money.
The first is that I feel afraid when I think about the amount of money and the amounts of my debts and the second is that I don’t like my situation. I may say something like this: “If I had the money I need, I would be happy.” This is not enough to let money flow freely to me. Fear sets the tone for my relationship with money.
The situation where I interact with money does not matter. My relationship with money is what determines its flow to me. My relationship with money sets up how I have money. energy of fear chases money away from me. My energy of love draws it to me. Do you see the difference in the two relationships?
Debt is just one situation where I interact with money. Here I establish my relationship with money. Either I draw money to me or I push it away. I either let it flow to me freely or I refuse to let it in.
What does being in debt mean?
Being in debt means I exchanged the energy of my thought and word for certain goods and services. I made the exchange as a promise to present money at a specific time. I promised to pay.
Often debts are arranged by contract. My promise to pay is made in writing. So I have a written contract. My part is to honor my contract. My contract is generally with someone other than the company where I obtained the goods and services.
My relationship with money is linked to the debt contract. My feelings about the contract are hooked into my relationship with money.
Why did I do it? Getting into debt is a way I chose to strengthen my relationship with money. Only I did not know that at the time. And I really did not know the extent to which my relationship with money would be tested through debt.
To be sure, I had a relationship with money before I got into debt. Money came to me easily and I had only to ask and it was given to me. My first experiences with debt began when I started work. It was the thing to do. I started with a relatively large thing - I purchased a car with a 2-year payoff plan. I added more debts in various categories. At first it was fun because each time I added more debt it was easy and flowed well.
One thing I recall about adding debt: a point came that I felt a fear at the pit of my stomach. The point where I started my fear relationship with money came when I applied for a car loan and was turned down. You see, I knew about only a few parts of the money game. It was a part I did not know that brought the fear. I did not know about the debt-to-income ratio (DTI). My DTI was too high and that's all the banker told me. I did not know how DTI worked until I became a loan originator for a mortgage broker firm.
Anyway, from the point of that turn-down - on, each time I added a new debt, I felt that fear in the pit of my stomach. I did not know for sure if I would be approved - although each time I applied to add a new debt afterwards, I was approved - that is, until I got a report saying I had too much activity - meaning I had made too many applications. Then I stopped. Paid cash for everything.
The greatest surprise I had was the day I found a house I wanted to purchase. The broker did the workup and informed me that I qualified to purchase the house I selected - further, that I qualified for a house of greater value. I entered the contract for the house and moved in. The broker took care of all the arrangements.
Still I did not "get" it. It felt good to buy a house, but I still had ups and downs about other debt situations. Especially where I was closely involved in making the arrangements. That fear in the pit of my stomach - until I received the notices of approval. I had an excellent credit rating and with the exception of that time I was turned down for too many credit apps and the DTI matter, I never heard anything but 'we want your business!'
But I still had a problem. What I did not know is that with all those encounters punctuated with fear, I was sowing seeds of fear in my relationship with money. Each time I 'planted' a fear seed with money, I did it again. I entered more debt contracts.
Sure I paid debts off, often before entering new contracts, but still I got into more debt. What was I doing?
You have probably guessed it by now. I did it for the same reason I do anything where fear is involved. I was facing my fears. There is one problem with it. All I did was face the fear. I did not resolve the fear by getting into more debt.
Yet, that's the purpose of debt. That's what debt is for: to resolve the fear of money. To straighten out my relationship with money.
Yes, my friends, the purpose of debt is to resolve issues of fear associated with money. I had to embrace debt as a dear friend so I could straighten out my relationship with money. I had to love that debt! Mine was a compromising relationship with money - a love-hate relationship borne out of fear. I did not have to do an analysis of it, I merely had to embrace it and love money as my friend. I had to welcome money regardless of the uses I had set up for it.
Paying debts is just one use for money. Until I found the purpose for debt, it was my major use for money. When I thought about money, I thought about what I could afford. I thought about what debt I could get into.
When I realized I needed to expand my uses for money, I regrouped. Items I selected were among my goals. I was already building my business Family Consultation Services and had launched the Family Systems Institute. I had started on a shoestring and kept my expenses to a minimum. So I had to go back to the drawing board and specify how I would use certain amounts of money. This is very different from what I had done - holding off launching certain parts of the business until I had the money to do it.
Holding off launching releases holding off energy so I had put a hold on money that was waiting for me to give it a use. Holding off does not give a use, it puts a hold on money and keeps it from flowing.
What I did was set the budget for the amount of money I chose to use and then took action on parts of the business that did not require money. Taking action on the business gave the message - "I am ready to move forward with this - and I am ready for the money I have chosen to use with this business."
I began to think about how wonderful it is to use money to move the business forward. I also added other uses for money. These were items I had included in my long range plans some time ago. Now I used these plans to give my friend money some specific uses. Among the items on my list are these:
I got past holding back money as I gave money a reason to be my friend. These items and others helped me make that shift. Before I could embrace my dear friend money, I had to come to terms about debt. I had given debt too high a position and because I had given it such a position, it responded as a high priority. With these added uses for money, I moved debt down a few notches. The use of money for debt moved from about 90% to about 4%.
Looking at the picture as an energy field, a money field, an energy field around money, this money field contains the uses I have for money. At 90%, the major use I had for money was to pay bills. To pay debts. I set debt within the money field and found it filled the field, leaving about 10% for other uses. This amazed me. Actually it was a startling discovery!
With a money field dominated with debt energy, no wonder I got into debt. My goodness, my predominant thoughts about money were about my debts and how I would pay them. I had a debt mindset. Is there any wonder I had not ever thought of money as a friend?
Well, I embraced money as my dear friend, and set debt within my money field - as one among many uses I have for money. Before this discovery - that there are indeed other uses for money, I had not considered the intense conflict I had set up by having a single most important use for money - debt. It was a conflict because I had not given myself real options.
I tried to have a good attitude toward money and my debts, but the whole debt picture was too much. It was not the friendly sort - with all its features and unseen qualities. If you have been in debt you know what I mean.
My list of uses for money shifted the proportion of debt from 90% to 4%. With this I could shift my attention to something other than debt. And I did. I focused attention on other uses for money. Debt became just one minor point in my money field - 4% and growing lower as we speak. I took away its power over me. Debt became one use for money rather than the most important way I used money. Can you see how freeing this is?
When I made the shift, I realized something very important. Regardless of the amount of money I have available to me at any time, my major task is to decide what I will do with it. It is a money game and my part in the game is to choose how I will use money. Before knowing this, mine was not a conscious choice. A choice was made for me. A choice by default.
I thought debt, filled my money field with debt and became a debtor. The energy of debt filled my atmosphere and many businesses accommodated me and the tone I had set.
To shift the energy of debt from its high position in my designated use for money, I had to get very clear about my relationship with money - I had to love money as a friend. Then I could choose what I would do with it. With a friendly relationship with money, I could decide to use it for friendly purposes. Purposes I enjoy. Every thing on my list is something I enjoy!
Caught up in the debt cycle, I was constantly concerned about the amount of money I had in my bank accounts and my wallets. I could get into debt with promised money. Money I expected to get. Constantly, I tied money to debt and actually made money a slave to debt instead of my friend.
When I made money my friend, I found I did not have to concern myself about the amount of money I had in my bank account or wallets. Neither did I have to concern myself about the amount of money I earned or what others owed me. Why? Because the amount of money available to me is infinite. I can attract to myself vast amounts if I am willing to let it come.
The funniest thing. The amount of money available to me has always been infinite. I have always had more than one channel for money to come to me. Often new channels would pop up. These channels - energy streams for money - continue to appear. All they require is my attention to start their flow to me.
A point you may want to consider with me. When I concern myself with the amount of money I have in my possession, I think of limits instead of infinite. Even when I think of millions of dollars in financial accounts, these are limits. Billions are limits.
Understand this clearly, the issue is not the amount; the issue is the concern. Concerns about the amounts means concerns about the limits. Instead of being concerned about the amounts I have in my accounts, let me put attention on how to use the money and how much money I will use. The list and the budgets!
I have but one thing to be concerned about when I think about money: the uses I have for money. How shall I use money and how much money shall I use? The amount to concern myself about is the amount I am willing to use. Not the amount I have.
The amount I attract is the amount I am willing to use. I attract the amount I give a purpose. When I have money and do not specify how I shall use it, something will come up so I can use it. Money wants to be used. It has to be used. When I do not specify a purpose, a default use arises, based on the kind of energy I release as I think money. If all I think about is debts, then that's how I set it up to use the money. Many things I can think - focus attention on in relation to money and so it can find its way to me... so I can put money to use.
So what money shall I attract? When I choose to use a little, then I attract small amounts. As I choose to use an abundance, I attract vast amounts of money. For example, if I constantly look for bargains or how to get something for the cheapest price, then I will attract only enough to handle the bargains or the cheap items. Sure, I may brag on how little I got something for. Yet, if I look for certain quality regardless of the price, then I attract the amounts to match my focus. Had you noticed how certain persons always drive luxury cars? They always find a way. Even those whose money fields are filled with debt.
I like thinking about how this thing flowed when I put my attention on uses for money other than debt. When I started thinking of money as my friend I felt a burden lift off my shoulders. That was the most freeing feeling I had ever had about money. And it was a joy when I noticed how money flowed more easily to me. I noticed how free my thoughts were as I wrote checks and used money for items other than debts. Mostly, I enjoyed the way I felt thinking various uses for money.
What did I do to attract money? Attracting money is the same as attracting any other thing. Love something and it comes to you. Seeing money as a loving friend started the flow. Choosing how I would use money gave money a reason to come to me and added momentum.
Money is like any other friend. It comes to me and is constant with me as I think and speak Love Energy and Joy as I think and speak money. That is, I fill my thoughts and words about money with Joy and Love Energy. I think of money as my friend - as one I adore and esteem and it just flows to me.
To see money as a dear friend is a key to attracting it to you. It is the matter of seeing it as Happy Money and being happy with your money. The next key to attracting money to you is having plans for how you will use it. Money has to have a purpose. It has to be used. You must have a use for it if you want it to be your friend. A union of purpose.
So to attract money, I got really specific about how I intended to use it. I stated clearly what I would do with it. I specified the amounts I would use and as I did, I increased my attracting power. I made lists of uses I would give the money and then watched it roll in. That's how it works for me. This is a continual and daily process.
So again, what do I do to attract money? It goes something like this.
Money is my friend and I choose to use $ ________ to purchase ___________.
Money is my friend and I choose to use $ ________ to ___________________.
Fill in the blanks each time you decide how you would like to use money. See money as your friend who delights in letting you use it in many ways. Choose how you will use it and watch it flow to you.
Table Of Contents
Email to Webmaster: Indoma
No parts of this site may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written
permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
©1996-2009 Neeta Blair, Ph.D.