My Desire Is To Speak Clearly

 

At last I remember to speak mostly from me for me and if what I say is a-sharing, then I hope that my voice is clear. First, however, I must hear what I say.

Sometimes when I think I am speaking Baltic Blue I am speaking Navy Blue. Sure I blame in on my not knowing color gradation. In truth, I did not take the time and now I put myself at a disadvantage of not knowing the difference between levels of blue or red or yellow.

I show myself that I am learning, when I speak for myself with “I” instead of trying to speak for you by including you in “we”, and in “you”. I cannot speak for you. I got way off my path when I took the audacity to even think I can speak for you. I barely speak for myself. I cannot create in anyone’s universe except my own. How dare I attempt to do such an impossible. Finally I remembered that to talk of what “you” can do and what “we” can do and not do was my own ignorance and vanity to create in your universe as well as my own.

Oh I learned this travesty from a tradition I no longer support. Yet the looming question prevails, “Now that I know this, what shall I do with it?” You see, the tradition that taught me that I can speak for you and create in your universe is the same tradition whose main purpose is to take away my power and I am bound and determined to take back my power.

It is in my freedom that I learn to speak Baltic Blue when I speak with you so that I may be clear. Bear with me though as I struggle with the syllables for the music of their vibrations are new tones to my current state although always present from before I was. Do I ever forget that Baltic Blue is my native tongue?

When I reach the point where I reconcile what I think and what I see to how I want to see it and view it, then it is as I desire it. I freely cast my vibrations upon it and watch as it flows to me on the waves of my own vibes. When I speak it in my native tongue, then I have spoken clearly.

© 12/1/2000 Neeta Blair

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Sunday, December 03, 2000 04:02 AM

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