My Desire Is To Speak Clearly
At last I remember to speak mostly from me for me and
if what I say is a-sharing, then I hope that my voice is clear. First, however, I must
hear what I say.
Sometimes when I think I am speaking Baltic Blue I am speaking Navy
Blue. Sure I blame in on my not knowing color gradation. In truth, I did
not take the time and now I put myself at a disadvantage of not knowing the difference
between levels of blue or red or yellow.
I show myself that I am learning, when I speak for
myself with “I” instead of trying to speak for you by including you in
“we”, and in “you”. I cannot speak for you. I got way off my path when
I took the audacity to even think I can speak for you. I barely speak for myself. I cannot
create in anyone’s universe except my own. How dare I attempt to do such an
impossible. Finally I remembered that to talk of what “you” can do and what
“we” can do and not do was my own ignorance and vanity to create in your
universe as well as my own.
Oh I learned this travesty from a tradition I no
longer support. Yet the looming question prevails, “Now that I know this, what shall
I do with it?” You see, the tradition that taught me that I can speak for you and
create in your universe is the same tradition whose main purpose is to take away my power
and I am bound and determined to take back my power.
It is in my freedom that I learn to speak Baltic Blue when I speak with you so that I may be clear.
Bear with me though as I struggle with the syllables for the music of their vibrations are
new tones to my current state although always present from before I was. Do I ever forget
that Baltic Blue is my native tongue?
When I reach the point where I reconcile what I think
and what I see to how I want to see it and view it, then it is as I desire it. I freely
cast my vibrations upon it and watch as it flows to me on the waves of my own vibes. When
I speak it in my native tongue, then I have spoken clearly.
© 12/1/2000 Neeta Blair